Law firms have a great tradition of learning from the master – sitting with Nellie, as it is sometimes called in the UK.

It’s a great way of learning. But only if ‘Nellie’ has good practices and is a good mentor.

Here are some useful guidelines for mentor – trainee relationships:

If trainees work with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If trainees work with hostility, they learn to fight.
If trainees work with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If trainees work with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If trainees work with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If trainees work with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If trainees work with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If trainees work with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If trainees work with tolerance, they learn patience.
If trainees work with praise, they learn appreciation.
If trainees work with acceptance, they learn to love.
If trainees work with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If trainees work with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If trainees work with sharing, they learn generosity.
If trainees work with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If trainees work with fairness, they learn justice.
If trainees work with kindness, they learn respect.
If trainees work with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If trainees work with friendliness, they learn the firm is a nice place in which to work…and they might not leave to join your rival!

Sherwood PSF Consulting provides programmes to develop mentoring skills.

Adapted from ‘Children Learn What They Live’ by Dorothy Law Nolte