If you’re not finding your work a positive experience, full of personal growth, read on…..
An important aspect of our approach to work is what we might call our attitude. You can describe this as how we choose to see things and how we choose to react to situations and people.
The choices made by many people leave them feeling somewhat flat, pessimistic, anxious or simply too burdened to be really happy in their roles.
You might argue that these feelings are realistic and normal. After all, there’s all that pressure to hit targets, all that responsibility and all those decisions that have to be taken without enough information. Then there’s so little feedback on your performance – that’s bound to lead to some anxiety.
But I sense that many executives spend too much of their time thinking about negative things – about all the things that are going wrong, such as a star associate leaving, a client making you re-tender for the work. Then there’s all the things that could go wrong – that’s an endless list!
In my one-to-one coaching work I find it helpful to think about each person as two people. There’s the person and there’s the voice in their head!
The voice in their head says things like:
- “The other managers are better at me at X, Y, Z”
- “I should be more knowledgeable or skilled to do this work better”
- “I ought to get more profitable clients, otherwise my position in the firm will be weakened”
- “I might mess this transaction up and get blamed”
If you’re wondering what I mean about the voice in the head – it‘s that voice!
All these oughts /shoulds and focus on blame and faults create a negative spiral. It takes the spring out of your step. Frankly it can make you less fun to be around! And much less of a successful entrepreneur.
So what is the alternative? Here are some suggestions – all of which have made a huge difference to people I have worked with.
- It’s to see the glass being at least half full – not half empty! Focus on what’s good and on your strengths.
- It’s to take yourself less seriously. When you hear that inner voice whispering in your ear, don’t beat yourself up, but have a little chuckle to yourself.
- It’s to see all that wonderful potential in your associates. Praise people whenever you can. Say ‘well done’ to yourself. As Michelangelo said: ‘Inside the slab of marble is a beautiful statue – my job is simply to chip away all the unwanted stone’.
- It’s to lead by example. If the senior managers are going around being miserable, it’ll be contagious. The whole firm will become infected
- Challenge all the assumptions you’ve made about who is good and who isn’t – about who likes you and who doesn’t. Most of these assumptions are likely to be stories you initially made up and have sought to reinforce. Be open to the possibilities that there is more good and more potential out there.
- Have a vision for your team. Everybody wants to know where you’re sailing the ship – particularly those more junior than you working in the equivalent of the engine room.
As Ben Zander, conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, says about teaching: ‘If the eyes of your students aren’t shining, as yourself the question – how am I being that stops their eyes shining?’
Finally, remember that you do have a choice!
Here’s to a better, more rewarding, more positive, more fulfilling and uplifting time in the office with many more possibilities!